The Freemobile? And the Lefty League: Part Two

Unless youve been living under a rock for the last month youll surely be aware of the Lefty League. In what many are calling the United States response, to the well received Russian lead Freecon of a month ago, the Obama administration has just concluded the committee sessions of the inaugural Lefty League meeting in Washington DC. Aiming to take back the Freeman initiative on the world stage the leagues stated goals are- To increase understanding of the Freeman, his strengths weaknesses and motivations. To limit first world dependence on the Freeman. And finally to preempt the possibility of Freeman proliferation within the third world.

Obama Chairs a League Meeting

The US has often been criticised for its handling of the Freeman affair with many calling the government policy out of touch with the views of the American people. While no US administration has ever been openly hostile towards the Freeman successive presidents have overseen the implementation of tighter controls and harsher counter measures for all suspected Freeman activity on US soil. The fear is, with Russias apparent love affair for all things Freeman, that the creation of this league is a purposeful step by the US towards seeing a global outlook on the Freeman more in tune with American policy. When this was put to Obama by our investigative reporters the president was dismissive stating "Look, let me clear. The Lefty League isnt about politics. I am not gonna, ya know, lead the league. I am just a follower. It shouldnt be suggested that this is some way for Americans to advance American interests. "

Update: Obamas people have just clarified his statement as such "Of course the president is the leader. He merely meant follower in the rhetorical way that an elected leader is the servant of those who elected him. This was in no way a suggestion that theres some, yet to be revealed, Mastermind behind the Lefty League or that it was in fact a preexistent clandestine organisation prior to The Great Revelation"

The Freemobile? And the Lefty League: Part One

 
In what many were already calling a "fanboy prank" a vehicle with the Freeman insignia was involved in a multi state car chase across the southern United States early Monday morning. We here at Freeman finder central were well aware that the last known whereabouts of the Freeman was Mexico where he was thought to be helping peasant families escape the drugs fuelled war that has engulfed the nation. However, even at the time of the chase, we never believed the Freeman would resort to such a vunerable mode of transport as the automobile. What happened next though was enough to make even the most hardened Freeman purist sit up and consider re evaluating their belief structure.

With sixteen federal agent driven, high performance, vehicles in pursuit and the air power of US border patrol on its heels the Freemobile gave them all the slip. In an astounding turn of events, which left American spokespeople with egg on their faces, just moments after the end of the chase had been declared reports began to trickle in that no one had eyes on the Freemobile!

They had all been heading towards a strip of motorway with no offramps, exits or overpasses. An armoured checkpoint/deadend had been hastily created less than 2 minutes away, more than likely visible already to the whole circus of flashing lights and screeeching tyres. One federal logistics agent was even overheard to give a triumphalist "we got him!" fist punch to the air.

But they didnt have him. And that is why we now take sightings of the Freemobile, Freecopter and Freecycle very seriously.